Tag Archives: Family

Ramadhaan Reminders: Dinner Parties & Iftaar…

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Many people use the following Hadith to justify and encourage Dinner/Iftaar parties during the month of Ramadhaan:

“Whoever gives food to a fasting person with which to break his fast, will have a reward equal to his, without it detracting in the slightest from the reward of the fasting person” – Tirmidhi.

I think it’s important to see the wisdom behind such inspiration and not to abuse it. Dinner/Iftaar parties can often distract people from the real virtues of Ramadhaan and may even facilitate and encourage Back-biting, gossip, etc. The key is to avoid any situation that would distract you from attaining the pleasure of Allah.

Charity is very closely associated with the month of Ramadhaan and some scholars are of the opinion that the above Hadith relates to the food/Iftaar provided to the poor and needy. I’m not in any way implying that providing Iftaar to people who can afford it won’t earn you the reward but what I am saying is make sure the Dinner/Iftaar is done for the right reasons and in the right environment. Invite a different person over for dinner everyday instead of hosting a Dinner/Iftaar party for a huge group of people in one sitting.

May Allah allow us to benefit from this auspicious month…

Taking Care Of Your Children Through Good Deeds…

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Many of you might be familiar with the story of Musa (A.S) and His encounter with Al-Khidr. For anyone who isn’t, watch this space and Insha Allah I will summarise the story at a later time. There were 3 events that took place on this journey, in summary, they were:

  1. Al-Khidr made a hole in the boat of the men that assisted them to cross the sea
  2. Al-Khidr killed a child
  3. Al-Khidr reinforced a broken wall in a town whose people were selfish and inhospitable
I’d like to focus on the 3rd event that took place as there is a great lesson to be learnt.  Beneath the wall lay a treasure that belonged to 2 orphans, so in order to protect the treasure from the people of the town, Al-Khidr fixed the wall. It was revealed that the reason he was ordered to fix the wall for the orphans was because their father was a righteous man.
“And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the city, and there was beneath it a treasure belonging to them, and their father was a righteous man; so your Lord desired that they should attain their maturity and take out their treasure, a mercy from your Lord, and I did not do it of my own accord. This is the significance of that with which you could not have patience.” (Surah al-Kahf)
Sa`id bin Jubayr narrated from Ibn `Abbas: “They were taken care of because their father was a righteous man, although it is not stated that they themselves were righteous.”

In this is a great lesson for parents today. Uphold the commandments of Allah and Allah will take care of your children whether you are with them or not.

A reminder about charity…

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Last weekend was the Salvation Army’s Door Knock Appeal and when I heard about it, I thought about whether or not I would donate to the cause and it reminded me of a story I read as a kid about the Prophet Ibrahim (A.S) or Abraham (PBUH) which is available on my post titled Unconditional Charity.

The story demonstrates the importance of unconditional charity and the value of Da’wah through action. Most people would donate to their own religious groups, the true test arises when you are approached by members of other faiths. I still maintain a preference for Islamic Charitable Organisations and I don’t think there can be anything wrong in that, however, the story of Ibrahim (A.S) encourages us as Muslims to be charitable to all of God’s creation.

Be generous and show compassion to both, Muslims and non-Muslims and don’t discriminate in your charity. As Muslims we should understand that no matter what colour we are or what religion we follow, we are all God’s creation. If God himself does not deprive any of His creation from sustenance, how then can we, as His creation, judge between ourselves.

…and remember… “The deeds most loved by Allah are those done regularly, even if they are small.”

Unconditional Charity…

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Last weekend was the Salvation Army’s Door Knock Appeal and when I heard about it, I thought about whether or not I would donate to the cause and it reminded me of a story I read as a kid about the Prophet Ibrahim (A.S) or Abraham (PBUH).

Ibrahim (A.S) would never touch food unless there was a beggar in his house, when no beggars visited in a few days, he began to wonder if it was through some fault of his own that God had not sent a beggar to him. Eventually, a beggar came knocking at his door and when he inquired, he learnt that the beggar was a Magian or Fire worshipper. Ibrahim (A.S) proclaimed, ” I cannot help unbelievers who attribute partners to Allah and wander about in this condition. Go away till you have repented, asked forgiveness of God, embraced Islam and cleaned yourself up. Then you will come back to an open door.” As the begged left, Ibrahim heard these words from above: ” Ibrahim, since I, with my Godhead, do not deny him sustenance, despite the fact that he disobeyed me and committed the one sin I do not pardon, namely that of attributing partners to Me, how could you – My servant – send him away without even a crust of bread? Go and make it up to him at once. If you had done this for your own sake, rather than to please Me, I would have wiped you from My friendship.

Upon receiving this divine command, Ibrahim (A.S) took to the road until he found the beggar. He treated him kindly, invited him into his home and fed him well. Through this generosity and charity, the beggar turned to Allah and was blessed with the honour of true faith.

The story demonstrates the importance of unconditional charity and the value of Da’wah through action. Most people would donate to their own religious groups, the true test arises when you are approached by members of other faiths. I still maintain a preference for Islamic Charitable Organisations and I don’t think there can be anything wrong in that, however, the story of Ibrahim (A.S) encourages us as Muslims to be charitable to all of God’s creation.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The believer’s shade on the Day of Resurrection will be his charity.” – Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 604.

Bite size Dhikr…

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I remember having to memorise theses dua’s throughout my childhood to avoid embarrassment in case the Imam quizzed me on it. I must admit, at the time I simply memorised them to comply with the teachings of the Madrassah but didn’t understand the wisdom behind them so it became a mere ritual, something that remained at the back of my mind and surfaced only when and if I was quizzed on it.

That changed when my parents explained the reason’s behind such supplications and I understood that it was more than just something you say or something you read. It’s about showing gratitude and appreciation for the things we have, it’s about humility, respect and the constant remembrance of Allah. My dad always reminded me to recite the dua before eating and it became a habit. I still remember the dua and Insha Allah, I will do the same with my children.

Dua before eating:

بسم الله وبركة الله

Bismillahi wa baraka-tillah.
Translation: With Allah’s name and upon the blessings granted by Allah (do we eat).

Dua after eating:

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِى أَطْعَمَنَا وَسَقَانَا وَجَعَلَنَا مُسْلِمِينَ

Alham do lillah hilla-thee At Amana wa saqana waja ‘alana minal Muslimeen.
Translation: All praise is due to Allah who gave us food and drink and who made us Muslims.

Remember the wisdom behind such supplications, they’re not meant to be or become rituals. There is great reward in thanking and remembering Allah so don’t waste the opportunity. These dua’s are short and simple, remember them, practise them and teach them to your family and friends.

Remember Allah at snack time too, not just when you gather for a big meal… enjoy some bite size Dhikr.

…and remember… “The deeds most loved by Allah are those done regularly, even if they are small.” 

Dua for your wives and children…

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

A little dua to ensure a righteous partner and obedient children. Recitation of this dua should also serve as a reminder for you to be a righteous partner and obedient to your parents.

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Rabbana hab-lana min azwajina wathurriyyatina qurrata aAAyunin waijAAalna lilmuttaqeena imama

“Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.”

 

…and remember… “The deeds most loved by Allah are those done regularly, even if they are small.”


An Islamic adaptation of the Sabbath…

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In the name of Allah, most gracious, most merciful.

I recently became aware of the religious beliefs and rituals of some of the people I work with and I found the idea of the Sabbath very intriguing. Most people know the Sabbath to be the day Jews are forbidden to work,  however from  a Jewish perspective it is more than just rules and restriction.  As Tracey R. Rich puts it, “”it is a precious gift from God, a day of great joy eagerly awaited throughout the week, a time when we can set aside all of our weekday concerns and devote ourselves to higher pursuits.” According to the Torah,  the purpose of Sabbath observance is to remind the Hebrew people of two very important events in history: the creation of the world (Ex. 20:11) and the deliverance from slavery in Egypt (Deut. 5:15). Both highlight the central Jewish religious belief: that there is one, powerful creator God who cares for his people.

People of different religions and faiths observe the Sabbath in different ways and for different reasons. For members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or Mormons, Sunday is a quiet day for church attendance, rest from worldly pursuits, and spiritual reflection. I work very closely with members of the Mormon Church and their beliefs and spirituality have truly inspired me.

While different religions have different interpretations of the Sabbath, the principle remains the same and I believe the principle is Islamic at its core.

Examples of appropriate Sabbath activities include:

  • Attending Church
  • Prayer
  • Reflection & Contemplation
  • Studying scriptures
  • Spending time with family
  • Visiting the sick
  • Physical rest

As a Muslim, I was amazed at the spiritual devotion of the people who observe the Sabbath and I questioned my own devotion and spirituality. I began contemplating an Islamic adaptation the Sabbath.

Based on the principles and teachings of Islam and drawing inspiration from the Jewish and Mormon faiths, I believe we can increase our spirituality and our awareness of God by setting aside Sabbath-like periods in our lives.

Depending on the level of your faith and your circumstances this could be implemented daily, weekly or however you see fit. The frequency and duration is up to the individual, but the intention should be for the pleasure of Allah and to elevate your spirituality.

Examples of appropriate activities from an Islamic perspective would include:

  • Reading Quran
  • Prayer/Dua
  • Reading/Learning Hadith
  • Optional (Nafl)  Prayers
  • Spending time with the family (NO TV)
  • Visiting the sick
  • Fasting
  • Dhikr & the remembrance of Allah
  • Visiting the Mosque (besides the daily prayers)

The key is to avoid all worldly matters and take part in activities that will enhance your spirituality and create a better awareness and understanding of your faith.

Some may argue that we should be practising these activities all the time anyway, even if we do, there can be no harm in setting aside time each day or each week in devotion to your Lord.

I hope we can all benefit from this, set aside some time each day or each week to remove yourself from worldly matters and spend some time contemplating and reflecting on your faith. Insha Allah we will become better Muslims and will better appreciate the bounties of our Lord.

” O ye who believes remember Allah very often and glorify Him morning and evening.” (33:41-2)

” Then do ye remember Me I will remember you.” (2-152)

Inspiration: Live Life!

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be – a roommate, a neighbour, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger – but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

Learn a lesson in life each day that you live!

Remember, today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.

Think About it? Was it worth it?

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Uncredited article – courtesy of Gold Coast Islam Newsletter

 

Backbiting & Gossip…

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I read an interesting article on backbiting and gossip recently which I’d like to share as a reminder to us all. It is something we can all relate to and unfortunately something we very often participate in. The issue is not the nature or severity of the sin, I believe the real issue lies in our failure to acknowledge and recognise the fact that backbiting and gossiping are sinful acts. The recognition of certain acts as sinful or haraam is embedded in our minds from childhood and are therefore easier to reflect upon and acknowledge even as we grow up, however, the acts that are overlooked in our early years can easily be overlooked and even justified as we grow up. Unfortunately, backbiting and gossip are easily overlooked and pose a greater threat to us as we develop and grow. I hope this article serves as a reminder to us of the severity of these sins and also allow us to recognise and acknowledge them as sins so we are better able to avoid and resist them.

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Many gatherings produce nothing but gossip about other Muslims and slander of their honour. This is something which Allah has forbidden His slaves, and has drawn the most repulsive analogy to put them off. He says (interpretation of the meaning): “. . . neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it . . .” [al-Hujuraat 49:12]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) explained the meaning of this aayah. He said: “Do you know what gheebah (gossip or backbiting) is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said: “To say something about your brother that he does not want to be said.” He was asked, “What do you think if what is said about him is true?” He said, “If what you say about him is true, this is backbiting, and if what you say about him is not true, this is a lie.” (Reported by Muslim, 4/2001). Gossip or backbiting means saying something about a Muslim which may be true but which he does not like to hear spoken, whether it be about his physical appearance, his adherence to religion, his worldly affairs, his self, his behaviour or his character. There are many forms of gossip, including talking about a person’s faults and imitating him to make fun of him. People take the matter of gheebah very lightly, although it is very serious in the sight of Allah, as is indicated by the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “There are seventy-two forms of riba, the least of which is as bad as a man having intercourse with his own mother, and the worst of which is when a man slanders the honour of his brother.” (Silsilah al-Saheeh, 1871).Whoever is present in a gathering where gossip takes place should “forbid what is evil” and defend his absent brother. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) encouraged us to do this when he said: “Whoever defends the honour of his Muslim brother, Allah will protect his face from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by Ahmad, 6/450; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6238).  

Some people go about repeating the words of others to cause trouble between people; this is one of the greatest causes of broken relations and stirring up feelings of hatred among people. Allah condemned the one who does this (interpretation of the meaning): “And obey not everyone who swears much, – and is considered worthless, a slanderer, going about with calumnies.” [al-Qalam 68:10-11]Hudhayfah reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No eavesdropper will enter Paradise.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, see al-Fath, 10/472; “eavesdropper” here refers to a person who eavesdrops on others without their knowing, then goes and tells others what he has heard)

Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) passed by one of the gardens of Madeenah, and heard the sound of two people being punished in their graves. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “They are being punished, but they are not being punished for any major sin; one of them used never to clean himself properly after urinating, and the other used to spread malicious slander . . .” (Reported by al-Bukhaari; see Fath al-Baari, 1/317).

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I hope this article has highlighted and reiterated the severity and consequences of backbiting & gossip. My intention was not to scare or depress anyone, but rather to serve as a reminder and hopefully a deterrent towards these sinful acts. It is important to teach our children about theses acts so they grow and develop with the acknowledgement and recognition of these acts as sinful. Don’t promote backbiting and gossip by asking children about other kids at school and don’t backbite or gossip about others in the presence of your kids. What we learn as children and the habits we develop as kids will be reflected in our actions as adults, we need to encourage an Islamic upbringing in order to promote an Islamic lifestyle. I think a good start would be to stop backbiting and gossiping ourselves and Insha Allah the people around us will follow.

Thanks for reading, may Allah make us among those who are guided and among those who guide. Ameen.

Stolen time…

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I was inspired by the following article titled “Shaytan called a worldwide convention”:

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In his opening address to his evil Jinns, he said, “We can’t keep the Believers from going to Masjids. We can’t keep them from reading their Qur`an and knowing the truth. We can’t even keep them from forming an intimate, abiding relationship experience with Allah”. Once they gain that connection with Allah, our power over them is broken. So let them go to their Masjids; let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time, so they can’t gain that relationship with Allah.

This is what I want you to do Jinns. Distract them from gaining hold of their Lord and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day! “How shall we do this?” shouted his Jinns. “Keep them busy in the non essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds,” he answered. “Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow. Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon, their home will offer no escape from the pressures of work!” “Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive, to keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-Qur`anic recitation constantly. This will jam their minds and break that union with Allah.” “Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes. Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines so their husbands will believe that external beauty is what’s important, and they’ll become dissatisfied with their wives. That will fragment those families quickly!” “Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted, disquieted, and unprepared for the coming week. Don’t let them go out in nature to reflect on Allah’s wonders. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, concerts and movies instead. Keep them busy, busy, and busy! And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotions. Go ahead, let them be involved in soul winning; but crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Allah.” “Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause. It will work! It will work!” It was quite a convention. The evil Jinns went eagerly to their assignments causing Believers everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there.

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If you’re chasing your tail from morning to evening, waking up early, working late, not sleeping enough, studying hard and pursuing all the luxuries of this world, how much time do you devote towards you Lord? Apart from the 5 daily prayers, (I’m assuming we all manage that much at least) are we able to spare a few minutes everyday to read Quran? 5 minutes a day to read a Hadith? 5 minutes at the end of each day to thank Allah for his bounties? 5 minutes each morning to pray for guidance? A few minutes after each prayer for the remembrance of our Lord?

Why don’t we have time? Why can’t we spare a few minutes of our lives to remember and thank our Lord? From a young age we are moulded to pursue this lifestyle. Go to school so you can study, go to uni so you can get a job, get a job so you can make money, make more money so you can afford the house, the car, the holidays, the gadgets… and once you’re in the system, it ain’t easy to unplug. We are all guilty of it, unfortunately the lifestyle many of us pursue is not conducive to our Islamic way of life, however I don’t believe they are completely incompatible.

As I mentioned in “The jar of life”- Sometimes the less important things in life can distract us, filling up our time and keeping us away from what really matters. If we get our priorities in order, we can fit everything in. The  key is to prioritize, do what’s most important and Insha Allah you will see Barakah in your time and Barakah in your life. As a Muslim, prioritize your faith, be punctual and sincere in your prayers, devote some time each day to your Lord. Spend time with your family and do charitable work, fulfil your religious obligations and seek knowledge in your Faith. Your career, no matter how important it may be, must come after your religion and family. You will find that if you are able to maintain this balance, your work, studies and other responsibilities will find a way to work around your faith and Insha Allah you will succeed in them too.

A few things I’ve learnt to aid in better time management and pursuing a more Islamic way of life:

  • wake up early and pray Fajr
  • read Quran, exercise, study, etc, early in the morning – (stay up after Fajr)
  • stay focussed and set targets
  • make notes and use a diary
  • work hardest in the first half of the day
  • take breaks and pray on time
  • eat regularly, eat healthy
  • take time out to de-stress
  • skip the music – listen to Islamic lectures or nasheeds
  • avoid unnecessary distractions (facebook, twitter, aimless surfing) – there’s a time and place for this!
  • remember Allah and reflect upon his bounties (even the small ones)
  • when doing for others, make a sincere intention – sometimes the only difference between a random act and a spiritual act is the intention
  • make time for your family
  • avoid gossip
  • thank Allah for his provisions
  • read a book (Quran, Hadith, Islamic Stories, etc.) No good deed will go unnoticed
  • avoid excessive tv, movies, gaming
  • pray on time and preferably at the Mosque
  • renew your faith by visiting the Mosque daily
  • if you watch tv, don’t let it be the last thing you do before bed
  • make a sincere intention to wake up for Fajr
  • sleep early

I ask Allah to guide us and allow us to pursue an Islamic way of life. Its harder to achieve this in today’s secular environment but if we are successful, the reward will be greater… Insha Allah!

Muhammad al-Shareef has an inspiring lecture on time management which is available for download at http://www.kalamullah.com/muhammad-alshareef.html

I leave you with a quote by Imam Anwar al-Awlaki… “be mindful of Allah and Allah will be mindful of you”.