Tag Archives: marriage

The first ‘Amaanah’…

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful. 

As a young father, I recall the feeling of maturity and a sense of responsibility at the birth of our 2 kids. It’s a scary yet amazing emotion I experienced when I held my son for the first time almost 4 years ago. The emotion was even more intense and brought me to tears at the birth of our daughter earlier this year. The father-daughter relationship is probably the best understanding of the concept of ‘Amaanah’. 

I was reminded at Jumuah this week of another Amaanah… One that we often take for granted and can so easily forget. A man’s first Amaanah… He’s wife! 

As the Imam spoke out against violence against women, he emphasized the fact that when we marry our wives, they too are a trust from their parents and indeed from the Almighty. 

Marriage moves quickly from the honeymoon period into the daily grind and though children often remind you of a trust we have with the Almighty, it’s not fair to simply overlook our first Amaanah. 

It’s only when you realize the importance of the relationship with your wife can you truly appreciate the value of her as the mother of your children and the means through which Allah has entrusted you with so much more. 

Something very often neglected. A reminder to myself before anyone. Our wives were and remain entrusted to us… This is something we need to remember! 

I pray that our wives too, are the coolness of our eyes.

The wedding verse… 30:21

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I came across one of my favourite verses today… it brings back memories of my wedding day and pretty much every other wedding since. Perhaps if married couples remembered and actually reflected on this beyond their weddings, we wouldn’t have so many broken homes… #JustSaying

30_21

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. – Surah Ar-Rum, Verse 21. 

It sounds romantic and looks good on wedding cards, but in order to truly benefit from it, we must remember and reflect In Sha Allah.

May Allah make our spouses the coolness of our eyes!

Ameen!

Time for a little travel…

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Decided to take few days off and travel with my wife and son. It’s been a busy few weeks and sometimes you need a little rejuvenation before getting stuck in to routine again. Planning to visit one of my favourite cities in one of my favourite countries… Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

With a last-minute booking and our flight in 3 days I have lots to do before I can really take a break but it’s exciting. Looking forward to taking my wife out and enjoying some quality time with my son. Becoming more interesting as he gets older so we’ve a few cool places to visit with him.

Whenever I think about travelling, I like to do it for more than just globe-trotting. This time, I’d like to give myself and my wife a break from routine, some quality time together in the same place we spent our honeymoon together. This time a little honeymoon with our 2 year old son. I find peace in travelling to Muslim country, particularly one with such an emphasis on the preservation of Islam and Islamic Literature. We’ve been to Malaysia on numerous occasions and we can’t get enough. Looking forward to the Muslim experience, the Halal food, audible call to prayer, praying in the beautiful Mosques, in the airport and in the shopping malls too. The perfect balance between holiday, leisure, family and faith…

A verse comes to mind:

Say, (O Muhammad), “Travel through the land and observe how He began creation. Then Allah will produce the final creation. Indeed Allah , over all things, is competent.” [Qur’an: Chapter 29, Verse 20]

…4 years married!

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

What a way to start the year… my son turned 2 on the 1st of January and the 2nd was our 4th wedding anniversary. I guess the fact that we have a 2-year-old son forces us to believe that we’ve been married for more than 2 years but it definitely doesn’t feel that way. It really feels like it was just the other day. So much has happened, so much has changed in these 4 years but there’s 1 thing that hasn’t… our marriage. Four year’s later and despite occasionally taking things for granted and being a bit cranky, I still feel like I did then. Grey hairs have sprouted and body weight has fluctuated but inside, I still feel for my wife what I felt that day 4 years ago.

With each day comes greater challenges and bigger responsibilities but the realisation that our marriage stands so strong 4 years on is soothing and certainly reassuring. Marriage is so easily taken for granted and it’s so easy to neglect the person we wake up beside each morning, I’m thankful for these reminders that often wake you up to the many blessings you have around you.

I’d like to use this milestone to change a few old habits and make sure that my wife and our marriage are both given as much attention as they should and a little bit more. Love, affection and romance are not reserved for newly weds or special occasions and should be celebrated everyday. If I fail or come short for some reason, I hope this post will remind me and keep me on track.

The Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said: “The believer with the most complete faith is the one with the best character, and the best of them are those who treat their wives the best.”

… Insha Allah!

A new routine…

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In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Today was the first day of my new routine and my new job as a (part-time) house-husband. The Mrs is doing her 6 week practical experience program for her teaching degree so I’m on babysitting duty from 7 AM to 3 PM everyday.

First day went well, productivity was high, had some good bonding time with my little man and I must admit, the satisfaction and pride I felt at the end of the day made all the poop nappies worthwhile. I am pumped about my new routine and I hope everyday is as good as today.

Despite my initial reluctance in accepting my role as a house-husband for the next 6 weeks, I feel a sense of achievement in my acknowledgement and enthusiasm for this new experience. I’m not sure if it’s a masculinity thing, an ethnic one or perhaps a cultural issue but for some reason, my initial reaction was the fear of being labelled a house-husband. I can’t explain it but my instinct was to justify the situation in the most masculine way possible to avoid anyone assuming I’m some sort of stay-at-home dad.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! I decided not to justify it but to embrace it, break tradition, or culture or whatever it was that resulted in my initial reaction and be the best house-husband (in the most masculine way possible) for the next 6 weeks.

Man is naturally forgetful and instinctively ungrateful. We always want change, always something different. A few months back I would have killed to have 6 weeks at home with my son. I hated leaving home every morning and weekends were never long enough. I used to fantasize about the things I would do if I worked from home and if I had more control over where I was and where I had to be. Fast forward a few months and the dream became a reality, after quitting the office routine and working from the best place ever for the last 6 months, it was so easy to forget those fantasies.

My little reflection gave me a new perspective on things and I’ve been looking forward to my new routine. Day 1 went well and I look forward to tomorrow Insha Allah. I can’t take credit for a full-time house-husband since my amazing wife still takes care of the cooking, cleaning and all the prep that goes into being a housewife/mother/student/teacher/food blogger 😉

While some dads have to be part-time fathers due to their work requirements, I get to be a full-time father for the next 6 weeks… and that is all the justification I need!

Perhaps this is the inspiration I’ve been seeking… Insha Allah I’ll be able to learn, remind and reflect through my writing again!