…4 years married!

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

What a way to start the year… my son turned 2 on the 1st of January and the 2nd was our 4th wedding anniversary. I guess the fact that we have a 2-year-old son forces us to believe that we’ve been married for more than 2 years but it definitely doesn’t feel that way. It really feels like it was just the other day. So much has happened, so much has changed in these 4 years but there’s 1 thing that hasn’t… our marriage. Four year’s later and despite occasionally taking things for granted and being a bit cranky, I still feel like I did then. Grey hairs have sprouted and body weight has fluctuated but inside, I still feel for my wife what I felt that day 4 years ago.

With each day comes greater challenges and bigger responsibilities but the realisation that our marriage stands so strong 4 years on is soothing and certainly reassuring. Marriage is so easily taken for granted and it’s so easy to neglect the person we wake up beside each morning, I’m thankful for these reminders that often wake you up to the many blessings you have around you.

I’d like to use this milestone to change a few old habits and make sure that my wife and our marriage are both given as much attention as they should and a little bit more. Love, affection and romance are not reserved for newly weds or special occasions and should be celebrated everyday. If I fail or come short for some reason, I hope this post will remind me and keep me on track.

The Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said: “The believer with the most complete faith is the one with the best character, and the best of them are those who treat their wives the best.”

… Insha Allah!

2012 closing…

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

 

Alhamdulillah, I am grateful for seeing the end of another year. Every day is a blessing from Allah whether you live by the Lunar or Gregorian Calendar or whether you ‘celebrate’ New Years or not.

After a few hectic weeks, we took a few days off to spend some family time together and celebrate our son’s 2nd birthday as well as our 4th wedding anniversary. These dates or milestones really put things into perspective and are sometimes good reminders about the things we take for granted. I could not believe my son was already 2 and the next day I couldn’t fathom being married for such a long time. The change in routine was good and gave me an opportunity to reflect on 2 of the most important people in my life. Some may call it celebration but I like to think of it as an appreciation for my son who just turned 2 and my wife who’s been with me for the last 4 years. I probably feel the same way every year but I can not believe how fast 2012 went by.

2012 was a big year, lots happened, so much changed and with the change came a few big challenges. My sister got married and moved to America, I quit my job in public practise, began working as a virtual business consultant and finally kicked-ff my online supplement business. Circumstances changed drastically with my dad’s illness and I guess things haven’t quite gotten back to normal since then. I haven’t yet had the strength to write about some of the things I learnt and felt during this challenging time but perhaps I might, Insha Allah.

With so much uncertainty and so much going on at home, time just flew by I’m glad I was able to stop and take a break for a few days to appreciate the blessings in my life. There are many things I wish I had done, so much that was done and as always a few regrets. My aim is to do the things I wish I had done, appreciate the things I did accomplish and work on reducing the regrets Insha Allah.

2012 closes, our holiday was the perfect transition into the new year and now… 2013! Alhamdulillah!

 

 

 

A new routine…

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Today was the first day of my new routine and my new job as a (part-time) house-husband. The Mrs is doing her 6 week practical experience program for her teaching degree so I’m on babysitting duty from 7 AM to 3 PM everyday.

First day went well, productivity was high, had some good bonding time with my little man and I must admit, the satisfaction and pride I felt at the end of the day made all the poop nappies worthwhile. I am pumped about my new routine and I hope everyday is as good as today.

Despite my initial reluctance in accepting my role as a house-husband for the next 6 weeks, I feel a sense of achievement in my acknowledgement and enthusiasm for this new experience. I’m not sure if it’s a masculinity thing, an ethnic one or perhaps a cultural issue but for some reason, my initial reaction was the fear of being labelled a house-husband. I can’t explain it but my instinct was to justify the situation in the most masculine way possible to avoid anyone assuming I’m some sort of stay-at-home dad.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! I decided not to justify it but to embrace it, break tradition, or culture or whatever it was that resulted in my initial reaction and be the best house-husband (in the most masculine way possible) for the next 6 weeks.

Man is naturally forgetful and instinctively ungrateful. We always want change, always something different. A few months back I would have killed to have 6 weeks at home with my son. I hated leaving home every morning and weekends were never long enough. I used to fantasize about the things I would do if I worked from home and if I had more control over where I was and where I had to be. Fast forward a few months and the dream became a reality, after quitting the office routine and working from the best place ever for the last 6 months, it was so easy to forget those fantasies.

My little reflection gave me a new perspective on things and I’ve been looking forward to my new routine. Day 1 went well and I look forward to tomorrow Insha Allah. I can’t take credit for a full-time house-husband since my amazing wife still takes care of the cooking, cleaning and all the prep that goes into being a housewife/mother/student/teacher/food blogger 😉

While some dads have to be part-time fathers due to their work requirements, I get to be a full-time father for the next 6 weeks… and that is all the justification I need!

Perhaps this is the inspiration I’ve been seeking… Insha Allah I’ll be able to learn, remind and reflect through my writing again!

Something’s are just not worth missing…

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I realized today how neglectful I’ve been of some of the little things that have been taking place around me. The past few months have been absolutely hectic and it hasn’t yet subsided but when I reflect on the choices I made and the priorities I set, it might have been easier if I stopped from time to time just to take everything in.

I used to write about efficiency and time management as a Muslim but sometimes it’s easier to write about it than it is to practise it and I seem to have forgotten my own principles. When faced with a new challenge and a shift in responsibilities, I almost instinctively kicked into overdrive focussing on what I had to get done each day and what deadlines had to be met. Every task completed saw a few more added to my list and the cycle continued, I found myself staying up some nights, waking up early, spending hours in the office and at times I even forgot why I was doing certain things. I turned into a robot!

I’m grateful that I can reflect on this after only a few weeks but I’m saddened at the thought of what I may or may not have missed while I was engrossed in myself. Sometimes you just have to stop and … well, stop! Cause something’s are just not worth missing!

I hope I can learn from my own mistakes Insha Allah, seriously need to re-visit some of my old posts for inspiration!

Between Ramadhan’s

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

 

I just spent a few minutes reading my own Ramadhan Reminders from last year and I can’t believe how much has changed. Alhamdulillah I am grateful for everything that I have and I trust in the way things are meant to be, but when you actually take the time to look back and reflect… it’s quite amazing.

Last Ramadhan feels like yesterday, yet so much has changed, so much has happened since then. Really puts things into perspective. I feel humbled by the lack of control yet pleased with the outcome.

When I started writing a few years back I hoped that my writing would firstly serve as a reminder to myself and then to anyone who can benefit from it. Now I know what I meant! Looking back at last years posts has truly served as a reminder and I’m hoping to take some of my own advice.

 

Blessed Ramadhan!

Friday morning…

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

As I took out the trash this morning I was reminded of a little story … The Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) was seen by one of his companions while taking out the trash.  His companion was alarmed and said to the Prophet: Oh Messenger of God, you are taking out the trash!  The Prophet replied: who should I have take out the trash, the mother of the believers?

Following the Sunnah is really not that difficult… Blessed Jumuah!

My sisters wedding…

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I had the privilege of speaking at my sister’s wedding a few weeks ago, this is an extract of my speech:

As we celebrate and commemorate tonight, I believe it is important to distinguish the marriage from the wedding and the events attached to it. The wedding will end tonight, the honeymoon will end in a few weeks, its the marriage, the Nikah that will live beyond the events we’ve come to enjoy over the past few days. Behind all the glitter and glamour… beyond the fancy clothes and the delicious food lies a simple tradition, a simple belief… the Sunnah of Nikah!

In order to fully appreciate the importance of Nikah and benefit from the merits attached to it, we must reflect on the tradition itself and the divine wisdom behind it. We witness everyday the blatant disregard for marriage so the very fact that we are here today to celebrate this Nikkah is a blessing in itself and worthy of our acknowledgement.

As a newly wed myself, I don’t believe I am in a position yet to be giving marital advice but if there’s one piece of advise I will give the couple tonight, it would be this, that there is not much that can go wrong in a marriage if both parties respect and acknowledge the institute of marriage itself. Understand that this Nikkah has been prescribed upon you and that your spouse has been predetermined for you, it is this understanding and acceptance of divine intervention that will allow you to succeed not just in marriage but in all aspects of life.

May Allah keep us all happily married!

Reflection: Less racing, more winning!

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I realized today that I sometimes get carried away with certain obsessions at the expense of things more rewarding and fulfilling in life. It must be a human thing because it feels natural and you often notice it in other people. I guess the wisdom lies in the realization of these obsessions and the ability to recognize and alter the way you do things.

For the past few months I’ve been obsessed with my fitness and as a result, I now hold 2 concurrent gym memberships. I’m sure I’ll make good use of them but in hindsight, it may not have been the brightest idea. Reflecting on my actions I’ve realized that by obsessing over it, my expectations where higher and it became more difficult to achieve what I was set out to achieve.

That’s not what I regret though, what I regret are the things I missed out on.

As my passion for the obsession fizzled, I stopped chasing it so much and have found my priorities re-aligned with the more important things in life. As soon as my focus shifted, my priorities changed, I felt more fulfilled and despite not frequenting the gym as often… I’m fitter than ever … And I have more time for my family!

Alhamdulillah!

…My heart aches for Africa

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

My heart aches with every headline, every story and every photo that’s flashed across the screen. This crisis has been covered by the media and has been shared by every concerned individual and group through every possible social platform. Over the last few weeks, the crisis in Africa has flooded my inbox and social media streams. Africa is no stranger to crisis and at first, I must admit, I didn’t pay much attention. We live in a world where we can spend lavishly on ourselves while our neighbours go without food, how then can we relate to a crisis on the other side of the world?

Today, my heart aches for Africa. As my 7 month old son cried for food today, an imaged flashed before me that jolted my senses and sent a rush of emotion through me. I pictured a starving child in Africa. I remembered the images that had been circulating on Facebook and Twitter and I could almost hear their cries of hunger. As I came to terms with the heartbreaking images and thoughts going through my mind, I was grateful to Allah for blessing us and providing for us. Remembering Allah relieved some of the emotion I was experiencing but the reality remained… As we go about our daily lives, children are starving, Africa is suffering yet again.

Our self-centred, materialistic lifestyles have conditioned our minds to overlook such atrocities; we live in a world of suffering and to some extent have become oblivious to human suffering around the world. A sad yet undeniably truth. I find it very difficult to maintain this “out of sight, out of mind” attitude towards such suffering. I was born and raised in Africa; I saw poverty and suffering every morning and every evening. I remember feeling saddened at the sight of little boys walking barefoot on the hot African sand begging for food and money. My parents (may Allah reward them) would feed and clothe these kids to keep them off the streets. As a child there was little I could do, but I felt for them then, and I feel for them now. There are some things in life that will never leave you, we left Africa 10 years ago and I can still remember their faces, I can still remember the poverty, I can still remember the suffering. The crisis in The Horn of Africa has reminded me of my experience and memories of a people whose history has been plagued by disease, hunger and suffering. Today, my heart aches for Africa.

I read an article which told the story of a mother who was travelling on foot with her two children in an attempt to escape the famine in Somalia. A few days in to their journey, her son collapsed from dehydration, after using the last few drops of water to wake him, the mother was faced with the choice of leaving her son to die and journey on, or stay and starve to death with him and his little sister. No mother should have to make that choice, no son should have to experience that and no daughter should have to witness that. As I read the story, I was reminded of an episode of Great Migrations I recently watched. A herd of Wildebeest were migrating during the dry season, a mother wildebeest became separated from the herd as she cared for her weak calf. As the herd moved further and further away, the mother was forced to abandon her calf to re-join the herd in search of water.  It was difficult enough to watch the wildebeest story, I cannot begin to describe the heartache I felt when I read the story about the woman in Somalia.

I don’t have a solution to the crisis but I believe we can all contribute in our own way. Some may volunteer their time and effort while others may contribute financially, however, the least we can do as human beings is care. So long as there is concern for those who are suffering in our hearts, there is hope for them.

As we go on living our lives of comfort, as we eat our food, drink our water and rest in our beds, spare a thought for the people of Africa and be grateful to God for the blessings He has bestowed upon us.

Today, my heart aches for Africa…

 

Ramadan Reminders: What Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said…

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

The best reminder yet, a Ramadhan sermon by Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W):

“O People! Indeed ahead of you is the blessed month of Allah. A month of blessing, mercy and forgiveness. A month which with Allah is the best of months. Its days, the best of days, its nights, the best of nights, and its hours, the best of hours. It is the month which invites you to be the guests of Allah and invites you to be one of those near to Him. Each breath you take glorifies him; your sleep is worship, your deeds are accepted and your supplications are answered. So, ask Allah, your Lord; to give you a sound body and an enlightened heart so you may be able to fast and recite his book, for only he is unhappy who is devoid of Allah’s forgiveness during this great month.

Remember the hunger and thirst of the day of Qiyamah (Judgement) with your hunger and thirst; give alms to the needy and poor, honour your old, show kindness to the young ones, maintain relations with your blood relations; guard your tongues, close your eyes to that which is not permissible for your sight, close your ears to that which is forbidden to hear, show compassion to the orphans of people, so compassion may be shown to your orphans. Repent to Allah for your sins and raise your hands in dua during these times, for they are the best of times and Allah looks towards his creatures with kindness, replying to them during the hours and granting their needs if he is asked …

“O People! Indeed your souls are dependant on your deeds, free it with Istighfar (repentance) lighten its loads by long prostrations; and know that Allah swears by his might: That there is no punishment for the one who prays and prostrates and he shall have no fear of the fire on the day when man stands before the Lord of the worlds.

“O People! One who gives Iftaar to a fasting person during this month will be like one who has freed someone and his past sins will be forgiven. Some of the people who were there then asked the Prophet (s): “Not all of us are able to invite those who are fasting?”

The Prophet replied: “Allah gives this reward even if the Iftaar (meal) is a drink of water.” “One who has good morals (Akhlaq) during this month will be able to pass the ‘Siraat’ … on the day that feet will slip … “One who covers the faults of others will benefit in that Allah will curb His anger on the day of Judgement … “As for one who honour an orphan; Allah will honour him on the day of judgement, “And for the one who spreads his kindness, Allah will spread His mercy over him on the day of Judgement. “As for the one who cuts the ties of relation; Allah will cut His mercy from him … “Who so ever performs a recommended prayer in this month Allah will keep the fire of Hell away from him … “Whoever performs an obligatory prayer Allah will reward him with seventy prayers [worth] in this month. “And who so ever prays a lot during this month will have his load lightened on the day of measure. “He who recites one verse of the Holy Quran will be given the rewards of reciting the whole Quran during other months.

“O People! Indeed during this month the doors of heaven are open, therefore ask Allah not to close them for you; The doors of hell are closed, so ask Allah to keep them closed for you. During this month Shaytan (Satan) is imprisoned so ask your Lord not to let him have power over you.”

May we All benefit from this month Insha Allah!